our first official day!!! we started the morning by getting coffee and walking to chinatown to explore. there were manymanymany knock-off labubus and i considered buying one but they were too close in price to the originals for me to do that lol. we went to a lot of shops and got little trinkets + some gifts.

at some point there was this guy who coerced us into going to his restaurant or maybe he was just a worker there idk... but either way he led us to a restaurant. i wasn't that hungry but i wasn't sure how everyone else felt so i didn't object. the guy kept pushing for it so i was like ok this seems predatory but whatever... i would have felt guilty had i just walked away... the food was good but tbh it was a bit pricy and they charged $3 for water which was fucked up. like c'mon we need to drink that.

sweet store cat at the kite place awww hi cat

after exploring chinatown, we returned to our hotel and hung out for a bit before setting off for haight street. as we walked up to this anarachist book store, we saw a dog almost get hit by a car, and then its owner chasing after it. idk if the owner ever caught it. i hope he did. buttt we went to thrift stores, amoeba music, and then we concluded the night by eating mexican food. i got excited because i found a dress that a 2010s fashion tiktoker i like has. i think it's really dope and i've wanted it for a while, so i bought it, but i'm kiiiind of regretting it cause i don't know how to style it... which i already worried about, but i figured i'd rather regret buying it than regret not buying it. it was overall a very sweet day

cupertino has only ever been the default time/weather setting on iphones to me, but now i see it as shredland... after getting coffee from dunkin donuts (my first time trying it also :o), we drove over to cupertino to shred's house!!! we met his parents and grandma (shramily) and well his home was very sweet... they even had a lemon tree... shred's mom prepared a beautiful lunch for us and it was just lovely.

after eating, we went to a record store that was connected to a thrift/vintage store type of situaton. i think. i got a red turtleneck for $4 and this reeeaaally awesome beautiful dope sequin top for only $5. i'm really excited about it maybe i'll wear it for new year's or just to monkey who knows

listened to danger days while driving on the highway which felt like a near-perfect way to experience that album... if it were in the desert in the summer it would've been even better... discussed who would be which killjoy and lily = party poison, shred = fun ghoul, fiona = kobra kid, raggy = jet star

but anyway, we went to the beach. it was very very magical to me... it was probably one of my favorite things from the entire trip.

my phone couldn't capture how the sky's reflection on the wet sand made it look iridescent, but you just have to trust me when i say it did and that it was beautiful...

as the big waves crashed onto the shore, i kept thinking about what it would be like to lay on the sand and just let them overtake me and see where they pulled me. i bet it would feel really good to just be a small piece of debris letting the waves dictate my journey so i didn't have to do any thinking for myself. just floating freely. i have to go somewhere beautiful and just Think there more often.

after leaving the beach, we dropped shred off at his house to spend the night with his family, so lily, fiona, and i drove back up to our hotel and went out to two bars. the first one was like... a straight version of pony. it was fucked up. there was porn playing on the screen next to us while we used a ouija board to speak to a ghost named jewn who was trans and passed away in 2005. her parting message for us was just "ho." we played pool at the second bar (which i only realized was star wars themed a week later) and i actually got a ball in for once (!!!). i mainly laid on the seats while fiona and lily played.

the cd's i got while in california!!! i got artangels at amoeba on tuesday & the rest at a different place on wednesday. i was really excited about version 2.0 because it was only $4 :D

ok i actually got love angel music baby on ebay for $7 but i ordered it while we were at amoeba records because i was annoyed that i didn't find any used albums i liked. it ended up being at the store we went to on wednesday for only $4 but it had already shipped at that point oh well

thursday concert on a thursday on a full moon... the stars really aligned for this one... well to start the day, lily got an oil change, we picked up shred, and then drove to san jose.

shred was the only one with a ticket to see thursday and things were looking kind of dire but we (excl. shred, obviously) planned to just go to a bar if we couldn't get tickets. i don't think i was too worried because i only knew a handful of thursday songs anyway, but i'm deeply glad we ended up getting tickets at the box office because it kind of changed me... after waiting in line for 3 hours, we got in and we ended up situated at the exact center right up against the stage so a bunch of plugs and wires were right in front of us. the temptation to play with them and unplug shit was major, i can't even lie to you...

OHHHH when thursday finally came on... well within 2 minutes, geoff was 2 inches away from us and singing + screaming directly to my face... and throughout the show he kept looking at me to make sure he didn't hit me LOL i was very deeply in awe. i remember i turned to shred the second time he sang to me just to confirm i wasn't crazy and shred looked at me like ":O :D" and then geoff got in his + lily's faces a second later. very surreal!!! like. i've listened to his songs and seen this guy all over my friends' tumblrs, on pinterest, and even tucked away in shred's phonecase, and now he's an inch away and singing to us!!!! to be honest, i felt kind of guilty being in such a perfect spot because i wasn't as big of a fan as anyone else there. i also actually don't think i'm super into shows because i feel easily overwhelmed by being around so many people but i enjoyed this one very much...

after the show, we sat down near the tour buses for a few minutes and while fiona went to the car, i continued to sit on the ground with shred and lily. i half-expected the band to make a quick escape and didn't really think we'd meet any of them. but then i heard someone say geoff's name so i looked up and saw the drummer, then i peeked around him and saw geoff bundled up and got shred and and lily to stand up. i've always wondered what i would do if i had the chance to meet a celebrity because i'm deeply anxious and didn't think i'd have the guts to do/say anything, but i locked in like i've never locked in before... i kinda just snaked my way through people and next thing i know, geoff is looking right at me and i ask if i can get a picture. he softly went "yeah!" which kind of gagged me cause cmon... your **** *** ***** were in our faces two seconds ago there's no need to act shy... lol... jk but seriously he was very sweet and i'm glad i garnered the courage to say something.

we had planned to go to a bar after the show but we were all too paralyzed to do anything so we drove home in silence and went to bed

just like with the ride there, i spent most of my time sleeping on the ride back.

during my brief moments of consciousness, i started to think about the life i'd be returning to, the relationships i have and what i want from them + for them, what's next, just whatevs. i was left with a lot of clarity about many things. there are still many things i don't feel entirely clear on themselves, but i feel a newfound sense of confidence(?) in that lack of clarity. we only got to explore california for three days, but i think that going off to a new place for even a short time was dearly needed and allowed me to reset. even if just for a moment.

i did miss seattle but i also very deeply needed to escape for a second and well i am very excited to see where andyers goes next...
michael trip 2026?